my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
