There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
