First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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