ya dads aren't the best wingmen
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
