is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
