Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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