oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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