no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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