no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
