Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
