No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
