TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
