At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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