It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
