sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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