2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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