what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
