I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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