I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
