Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
