Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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