I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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