I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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