Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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