There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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