Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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