My cat gives me a boner
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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