Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
