This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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