I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
