In the future we'll all be gay
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
