The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just gift wrapped bread.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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