So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
