If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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