Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
