is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
