I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
