I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
