Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
