using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
