I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
