Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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