In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
