Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
