Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
