There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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