Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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