Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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