shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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