Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
