my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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