You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
