Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The air was thick with penises
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
